Pinned toot

every time a big name twitter account signs up here the instance is forced to donate a baton to a police station

Pinned toot

sufjan stevens pledges to record an album for every mastodon instance

about to put a small lasagne in the oven

i have gained 400 followers from the bofa thing

the bravest thing in the world is to cut the pizza with scissors

im spending all my money on personal training so when i start being rude online again i can defend myself in the real world

i have to explain my diet to a fellow adult next month and im not excited about having to tell them i survive on lasagne, cherry coke, cream cheese bagles and takeout burritos exclusively

just about to put a small lasagne in the oven

in the name of modesty i'm now wearing trousers almost daily

nobody on this website likes me, that’s right, they love me

i’ve been nailing zero sugar soft drinks and just had my first proper one in over a week and now i’ve got no teeth and my hair is full of static electricity

just about to put a huge lasagne in the oven

glad every thing is going fine online

cut to me eating 400g of grated mozzarella straight out of the bag with my hands

it’s unfollow friday everybody and i suggest unfollowing everybody, especially myself

I had perfect hair once, in 1997, and I have never had the nerve to grow it back since.

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hi i don't trust any of the bigger instances not to do anything weird so this is an instance just for me